Fruits and vegetables make for delightfully delicious sex toys! Those natural playthings feed a healthy sexual appetite and prompt exciting lascivious sex if not downright naughty sex. Natural and good for you, these toys are tasty and edible. No, not this desirable eating kitty rather literally edible: mouth, chew, swallow. No, not the type of swallowing without a need to chew.

Our most favorite fruits are frozen grapes and chilled strawberries both complemented with ice bucket champagne - a slightly sweet American brut. We do not bother with champagne glasses, bedroom activities are much too rambunctious and the two of us girls prefer gulping straight from a popped cork source.

Seedless frozen grapes, sweet red and tangy green, are such an exciting fit between a girl's lower lips. Makes us gasp a bit feeling an icy cold grape down there. This is exceedingly exciting to feel a cold grape being chased around, slipping up and down along with touching upon a sweet pea. Quite a thrill this feeling a frozen grape playing tag with a warm slippery tongue. Cold here, warm there, oh boy! Then a grape vanishes into mushy grape flavor French kissing for a time. A fresh grape pops into a lover's mouth and there is again a thrill of an icy kiss of those other lips.

Sliced halves of chilled strawberries are incredible fun and are pretty eye candy. Quite the decoration for a girl down there where she swallows a boy's fruit bar. Snug fit, attractive and tastefully alluring. Rather nice, excites me to taste strawberry while playing with a sweet spot. Just as exciting is French kissing swapping spit and mushy strawberry. A fresh strawberry kissed into pretty place and here we go again, boy howdy!

I must insert a big blunt point, being fruitexually fanciful creates crazy making anticipation. There is a magical delay between acts and scenes. A lover's tongue chasing an icy grape and warming up a turn-me-on button, this excites a girl, this arouses her, this makes for wanting more. A grape is literally eaten and there is metaphorical eating of other. This certainly heats up a girl. Pregnant pause fetching a new grape after French kissing creates a cool down, a bit of calming down. Anticipation, though, increases like crazy, "I know what is next. I can't wait!" This on and off arousal leads to a screaming final act; intensity of pleasure is way off the climax scale.

We love our grapes and strawberries and we girls always have our pretty fruit bowls with us.

Fun foreplay, and foreplay should be all day and into the night, is simple preparation for a scrumptious dessert after supper, a fruit cocktail. Our cowboy provides the cock, we provide the tail. Like 007 prefers, we give our tail feathers a wild shaking, we stir things up, way up!

Selecting fruits for dessert is fun. We decide a theme, sweet, tangy or both. We like sweet best but include tangy now and then for a surprise. With loving care we select and pick our oranges, tangerines, sometimes grapefruit and for tanginess, we select a lemon and a lime. A firm green lime is more tangy than a soft yellow lemon.

Lemons and limes are not for eating. We slice those into halves. When just a right time, we squeeze and rub around lemon or lime juice on our cowboy's juice bar. We like lime the best. Some lime juice spread around and up and down sure makes a girl's lips pucker and tighten. This has our cowboy gasp and holler, "Yippy I O Ki Ay!"

A finger dab or two of lime juice down there between our legs gives our cowboy a good mouth puckering but he doesn't holler, we do.

Tree picking fruit or grocery selecting, this is enjoyable to prepare for tasty nighttime treats; feeds into that fruitexual anticipation hunger.

Enjoying fruitexual fun is easy and appeals to all tastes and palates. Grapes, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, passion fruit, apples, peaches, nectarines and the infamous phallic symbol, banana, are a few of a long list of fruits available. Slice, dice, chop, mush or spoon ball, design of servings and how served are as endless as your fruitful imagination.

Fruits and sex are a wonderful special treat dessert. This is affordable and certainly adds grins and giggles to your love life.

All of you while reading my crazy blathering are ready to enjoy fruitexuality with your lover. Each of you have a jar of jam or jelly in your refrigerator. All you have to do is grab your jar, grab your lover then take both to bed for loads of fun.

Our favorite is blackberry jam. There are many historical reasons for our penchant for this jam. Growing up on our farm, grandma and I picked ten-million tons of wild blackberries, made ten-million blackberry pies and canned ten-million jars of blackberry jam every fall, year after year.

When young and beginning to smarten up, when young and enjoying sexual awakening, I drive my cowboy crazy with antics to have him either marry me or have me pregnant. I don't care which, both lead to his being my husband throughout our years. I tell him ten-million times, "We're getting married!" He tells me ten-million times, "I ain't marrying no crazy injun girl!"

Worst for him is we share a bedroom and a bed since I am a baby. Grandma says they made us share a bedroom and a bed so we would, " out your differences before marrying." I am aggressive about having him be mine. Some nights he makes me sleep facing our bedroom wall. Other nights he shoves me off our bed, I have to sleep on our floor. When I am really naughty bad, the boy grabs a blanket then heads for our barn to sleep under one of our mules. He says, "I sleep under a mule because there is only room for one, me!" We work out our differences.

Family and friends read some of my story telling books, they cannot believe these imaginative stunts I pull to make the boy mine, nor would you. Shoot, I still cannot believe some of those tricks I pull. Humor is all along he plans to marry me but never tells me just to be ornery.

Not long after my Choctaw rite of passage to womanhood, age thirteen, I finally have my way and gift him with my virginity, then I become insatiable and really drive him crazy. Two notions make this possible. Upon my becoming a full grown woman he is no longer allowed to say "no" to me, he does anyhow but not as often; he displays respect.

Other notion is I use this powerful Indian magic of blackberry jam. I scheme and lay traps, I take a quart of blackberry jam into our bedroom. Several nights a week I bare butt sit on his bare belly and his bare below then finger poke blackberry jam into my cowboy's mouth. He likes this. A month passes, I poke jam into his mouth and into mine then kiss him. He loves the jam, he doesn't like what I actually have in mind while kissing him; seduction. Another month, with threats of hitting his head with a stick which I do quite often, I have him French kissing and sharing blackberry jam with our tongues which he really likes. Couple more months I have the boy trained to lick blackberry jam from my bellybutton. I do the same to him and assertively if not aggressively try to move down to his now often big below but he hits my head, "I done told you not below my belly button!"

Blackberry jam is a powerful Madame Rue love potion, we love our blackberry jam nights.

He is weakening, his defenses against my lustful assaults begin to give way. Blackberry jam magic helps me conquer the boy, head, lips, neck, belly and continued marching southward until I capture and take his flagpole and flag.

You boys are thinking on a first date with a girl to spread blackberry jam around on her body to enjoy your own conquest. Nope, You are not Indian, blackberry jam magic does not work for you white boys. Strawberry jam might, though.

I am enjoying a rare lucid moment. I avoid vegetables for a health reason and to spare you pain.

This is the adult entertainment business, a multi-billion dollar industry, which popularizes a dangerous myth we girls love sex with bananas, cucumbers, squash, carrots and ears of corn all topped with creamy fifty shades of Grey Poupon. We girls do not. A girl is to never shove stuff up there where Mother Nature does not intend. This is a certain well researched health risk.

We humans, both girls and boys, enjoy bacterias and funguses living within our bodies and, yes, those are correct plural forms. Mother Nature provides us with harmoniously balanced beneficial bacteria and friendly fungus both of which help keep us healthy. Most of those bugs live in our mouths, throats, stomachs and intestinal tracts. Girls enjoy additional hosting within our vaginas.

This is when there is imbalance, too much of this bug and not enough of that bug, we become ill. Girls well know of this but you boys tend to not know much about girls. There are three common and basic types of maladies girls suffer: yeast infection, bladder infection and vaginosis. Those are not truly infections rather things are out of balance like a washing machine on spin with a load of wet jeans stuck to one side of a tub.

Boys know of athlete's foot. A yeast infection is athlete's kitty - too much fungal growth. A bladder infection and vaginosis are typically overgrowth of a normally beneficial bacteria. For all afflictions most frequent symptoms are painful itching, fierce burning and ugly discharge of cottage cheese. Foremost causes are oral sex, vaginal sex and douching. These problems are easily treatable. Prevention is simply keeping your stuff and your lover's stuff, clean.

Girls, do not douche, this is not a healthy practice. Sure, this is acceptable to lightly douche to flush out menstruation or to rinse away cottage cheese after cure. Otherwise, do not douche; Mother Nature performs a splendid job of this for you.

Enter E. coli stage right and this is not a Shakespearian comedy. E. coli is a bacterial infection which is serious and sometimes fatal. E. coli keeps your butt stuck on a toilet and keeps your face stuck in a bucket; simultaneous and involuntary explosive diarrhea and projectile vomiting.

Four or five times a year E. coli outbreaks make the news and newspapers. You readers know about this infection, bad news. E. coli easily transmits and most common sources are vegetables. Do not use vegetables for dildos. This is why I skip over vegetables and save for last.

Carefully and thoroughly water rinse both your fruits and vegetables before fruitexual play. Use mild soapy water and a soft scrub brush for ground level edibles like carrots, potatoes and cucumbers. Rinse well after cleaning; soap is to a girl's kitty like holy water is to a vampire.

Boys, never shove a cucumber up a girl's magic place, this could become a black magic place. Instead slice your cucumber, playfully smear sweet cream on your girl then decorate her with colorful cucumber slices for eating and for that other type of delightfully delicious eating.

Fruits inspire wildly wonderful fruitexual play! How to play, which fruits are best, is up to your imagination. Fruitexual fun can be accompanied by wine, champagne, brandy and other. Our family likes a lightly sweet brut champagne. Sweet cream, tartar sauce, whipped cream and many other toppings are delicious and decorative. Lemons and limes are fantastic for adding a periodic and surprising zing to activities. Sex is always better with grins and giggles.

Not much is needed for this enjoyment; you, a lover and some fruit. Fruitexual romping can be a bit wet and messy but then all sex is wet and messy. A couple of beach towels to spread or a soft horse blanket if out bareback riding and not necessarily just horses. This is important to begin clean. Have yourself, your fruits and whatever else clean then make a fun wet mess.

Use your imagination, use your common sense, play safe and never anything inside a girl, well, except for Richard and his tongue.