I do not mind collecting eggs for grandma each morning, eggs to scramble up along with slices of pork, warmed over corn bread, a wad of last night's mash potatoes splashed with chicken gravy along with a tall glass of raw milk, all to feed our hard working boys fixin' to head out to our farm fields at daybreak. Back then, eatin' was good and work was hard.
What I really do mind is stepping in fresh hen droppings with my bare feet. Always barefoot, we are not allowed to wear our farm boots during warm weather, we need to save as much money as we can.
Every morning, out to collect eggs from under hens which take to pecking at your hands if not flying right into your face then flogging you. Hens are more dangerous than those black snakes you sometimes pull out from under a hen thinking you have hold of an egg.
Same routine every morning, walking back to grandma's kitchen, shuffling and scrubbing my feet in dirt and nut grass to wipe off the chicken crap while carrying a bowl full of eggs. My poor feet, almost my entire childhood my bare feet are a deeply stained hen-shit-mucklety-brown color.
You know the color. You know those stains never come out no matter how much you rub your feet in Oklahoma dirt. Might as well be sailor boy tattoos, those stain splotches are there just about for life, and your feet stink to High Heaven.
This morning, America stepped in hen droppings and found a black snake has done swallowed our eggs. Darn it, those men folk ain't going to be happy about no eggs with breakfast; they work hard and deserve a good breakfast to start a work day. Bad enough a young red skinned bad attitude girl whose feet smell like hog's breath is serving.
No need to cite numbers. This morning black snake Obama and his suck egg dog boys report unemployment has skyrocketed to a 26 year high record and worker wages are stagnant; our economy is tanking worse than ever. More annoying, my modern source of egg money, our stock markets, are crashing.
Yes, ma'am, Obama and his boys are surely saving our economy, our homes and our jobs.
I am thinking to have my old man build me a hen house, then fetch some hens for eggs. Least I can afford to scramble up some eggs for my boy. Maybe I will bring us in a milking cow as well. Easy enough to scab together a milking shed. Shoot, a couple of pigs to fatten up and slaughter would be nice; my boy likes pork with breakfast.
Problem is, hens, cows and pigs are illegal to keep around your home these days. City tells me this is unhealthy, a violation of some municipal code. I don't think those city slicker boys have ever enjoyed hen-shit-mucklety-brown stained feet around sunrise.
Appears after years of scrubbing my bare feet with dirt to be rid of those stains, a new day has come where those bare foot stains are a small price to pay to keep from being hungry.
Today, America stepped in really deep ca-ca, stepped in hen droppings; our economy is worsening by the minute. Probably will takes years of scrubbing with dirt to get rid of those smelly stains on our American bare feet.
What did y'all have for breakfast this early morning?
