MAN-THING! comes with a basic 10 gigabyte RAM memory which is expandable to 100 gigabytes! This basic memory
is factory programmed with basic functions, such as walk, stop, bend over, stand up, sweep floor, dust furniture,
wash dishes, launder clothes, mow lawn, pull weeds, change oil and filter and other amazing basic features!
With expansion to 100 gigabytes of memory, MAN-THING! will have a standard Neandertal level artificial
intelligence. MAN-THING! will be capable of making low level decisions of his own! All decision making
abilities are programmed by you and are made only with your approval! With memory expansion, MAN-THING!
will operate at a level allowing for a safe trip to a grocery store and return trip. You can even
program him with a shopping list and ability to use an ATM debit card!
Programming MAN-THING! is so easy! Under his soft long lifelike hair, you will discover two auditory input
devices which look remarkably like ears! MAN-THING! has exceptionally good "hearing" allowing you to program
from a distance, no need to shout! Your owner's manual includes a full section on verbal command programming. You
will be simply amazed by how many commands can be programmed into MAN-THING!
Additional special level software is available, for free, upon request.
- Cleaning Software - specialized for household cleaning tasks.
- Yardwork Software - specialized for all your yardwork needs.
- Automotive Software - specialized for automotive upkeep and repair.
- Learning Software - specialized for training, such as potty training and manners.
- Bundled Software - specialized for a wide variety of behaviors, including adult behavior!
MAN-THING! comes with an amazing main physical feature, a long jacking handle! This will certainly give some
lift to your life! This jacking handle adjusts his internal operating speeds, temperature, circulation rate and
other expected "life like" responses. Think of this as a "Jack Him Up" feature! Easy to use and adjust to your needs!
Some gentle pulls on his jacking handle will adjust the length and width of his jacking handle to fit comfortably in
your hand or other places you may choose. Manipulation of his jacking handle will speed up his physical operating
speed, accelerate his fluid circulation flow, even increase his breathing and heartbeat rate! You can even adjust
him to a very lifelike "excited" state with ease. You will love his jacking handle adjustment feature!
Not shown in our photograph, MAN-THING! has two ball like adjustment knobs under his jacking handle, which
are very easy to reach and manipulate. Facing MAN-THING! his left ball like knob controls the relative
position of and dangle angle of his jacking handle. A little manipulation and his jacking handle will rise to
a desired height, with a side-effect of longer length and greater diameter. A hard squeeze of his left ball like
knob, will cause his jacking handle to fall and shorten to his factory default jacking handle size and position.
Again facing MAN-THING! his right ball like knob is an important safety feature. Gentle manipulation of
this ball like knob adjusts his "pressure safety valve" a special valve to release a special jacking fluid should
you inadvertently over jack MAN-THING! No harm will be caused by jacking MAN-THING! too much! This
is simply a safety feature to prevent MAN-THING! from being too active, too excited in a sense. Should this
happen, too intense operation without release, you will note this by a slight "blue tinge" to both his right and
left ball like knobs. Should you notice this, easy to cure! Manipulate his jacking handle or adjustment balls
until he releases a bit of jacking fluid.
Caution: under some circumstances, MAN-THING! may "spurt" jacking fluid, in small repeating quantities.
Do not become concerned! This is a default function to protect his physical operating system. His jacking fluid
is a safe, non-toxic creamy protein based stain-free fluid which is so safe, it is edible. This fluid even has a
pleasant flavor! Clean up requires nothing more than a soft cloth and warm water.
MAN-THING! will never run low on jacking fluid; he generates a constant supply, internally.
MAN-THING! also sports an adjustable tongue, not noted in our photograph. MAN-THING! can be
programmed for licking, sucking, biting and other specialized functions. His tongue is agile and capable
of many actions including up and down motion, back and forth motion, in and out motion, even a surprising
circular motion, all programmable by you! Adjustable speed as well; slow, medium, fast and vibrate! If you
are interested in this feature, inquire about our "adult oriented" software. Amazing software!
Your owner's manual covers a large variety of other physical features of which MAN-THING! is capable. You
will find all of his physical abiities to be simply delightful!
Notice his ON / OFF button in a central easy to reach location. Turn him on, turn him off, just like that!
This feature is great for storage. Have MAN-THING! enter a closet of your choice, then turn him off!
MAN-THING! can remain in an "off" mode for many years, safely.
You may find his ON / OFF button to be his best feature! With a memory upgrade, a full suite of software,
MAN-THING! becomes a fully trainable Neandertal Man! Need a little time-out? Walk MAN-THING!
into a closet, turn him off, close the door! He needs no upkeep while in his off mode!
We cannot continue to list all of MAN-THING! features! This advertisement would become a book! We do
guarantee you will find MAN-THING! to be a delight and every woman's dream "man" no doubt. Best feature
of MAN-THING! is, he is absolutely free! Yes! FREE! In exchange for beta testing our prototype we will
deliver MAN-THING! to you, completely free! Upgrades, additional software, new releases, are free as
well. Do not miss out on this AMAZING OFFER! You only pay shipping charges!
Shipping weight: 160 pounds
Box size: loose or tight - guaranteed safe snug fit
