Designed origninally for men, WOMAN-THING! has proven wildly popular with women! More advanced than our MAN-THING! prototype model, WOMAN-THING! is a full featured retail model with a lifetime guarantee, if you wish to retain her services for lifetime. WOMAN-THING! is specifically designed and crafted to assist men to become first class true gentlemen! Men, don't miss out on this special offer! You need this amazing product!


Men, does your lover frequently roll her eyes when you speak. When you are watching Monday night football and drinking a twelve pack of Belch Beer, is your lover running her vacuum cleaner between you and your boob-tube? Boys, has your lover become cold and indifferent? Do you often hear, "Not tonight, you give me a headache," when you are feeling horny but not romantic? After dinner, does your lover ask, "When are you due?" Feeling insecure men? Have you taken to spying on your lover? You say you installed a keystroke recorder on her computer and secretly read her private email? Are you constantly suspicious of your lover and wig-out when she so much as speaks to another man? You need help!


Let's talk man-to-man. You are man enough to talk tough, yes? Over the many decades, all your beer drinking led to a rather ample beer belly. Not so pretty. Another unpleasant effect of your daily twelve pack of Belch Beer, is all that alcohol has pickled your brain. Basically, you are a stupefied Neandertal. How shameful! Just look at you! Great big ol' belly hanging over your bermuda shorts halfway to your chubby knees. Picture how your slim, trim and fit lover feels having a beer breath walrus on top her, grunting, groaning and unknowingly missing that oh so delightful target! GROSS! REALLY GROSS!


You don't drink, yet, secretly, you are feeling insanely insecure. Your insecurity is leading you to spying on your lover, is leading you to constantly violating her privacy, is leading you reading her email when she is not around. This abhorrent masculine insecurity of yours prompts you to demand, "You cannot be friends with this person. You cannot be friends with that person." In your dark mind you are suspicious she is "seeing" someone else. I hope she is; you are an insecure insensitive jerk! You are both insecure and insensitive because you take your lover for granted. You no longer give her this attention she deserves and longs for. Nonetheless, you expect her to lavish you, to give you her constant attention, because you have come to take her for granted. LAZY INSENSITIVE LOUT!



WOMAN-THING! is loaded with amazing features! Complete satisfaction is guaranteed! READ ON!

Basic Features

Look At These Technical Details! You will be amazed!

Advanced Cutting Edge Software - Artificial Intelligence

WOMAN-THING! represents the most advanced programming available, to a degree WOMAN-THING! is designated a National Security Interest. Yes, President Bush and his radical rightwing religious zealots are attempting to suppress public knowledge of WOMAN-THING! programming. George Bush comments, "WOMAN-THING! is a potential threat to all Good 'Ol Boys across America who hold our shared traditional value a woman's place is barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen."

Bush and his religious zealots have stopped just short of declaring a Jihad against WOMAN-THING! Typical of Education Challenged religious zealots, they are unaware WOMAN-THING! is programmed to assist men in becoming true gentlemen! Yes, gentlemen. Prime Directive for WOMAN-THING! is to provide training, backed by negative consequences, to assist men to become more sensitive to and more understanding of the needs of women. It is our innovative "gentleman" programming which makes WOMAN-THING! so attractive to women!

WOMAN-THING! is simply amazing! WOMAN-THING! monitors a man's behavior around-the-clock without end for as long as her services are retained by your software license period. Requiring no rest period, requiring no upkeep nor addtional programming, WOMAN-THING! will train a man to become a gentleman by monitoring his activities and perceived thinking every minute, even while a man sleeps! WOMAN-THING! is so intelligent, so observant, our exhaustive years long prototype testing demonstrates she consistently and instantly makes correct decisions then employs effective correct behavior modification techniques which work, really work! Independent standards lab testing and evaluation rate WOMAN-THING! as operating at a "genius level."

Effective Training Techniques

Inherently it is impossible to fully discuss every aspect of WOMAN-THING! training techniques being such complex methodologies which are generated on-the-fly. Nonetheless basic "gentleman" training techniques highlighted here well provide a good notion of how very effective is her training of men to become gentlemen!

Primary "gentleman" training tool is a durable and attractive hardwood stick. During monitoring of a man, during training of man, when WOMAN-THING! detects behavior less than that of gentleman, a sharp switching is given across a man's buttocks or snapping rap is given to a man's elbow or kneecap. Which technique employed is determined by WOMAN-THING! depending relative position and required level of physical pain to impart "remembered" training. While observing other man behaviors, such as conversation or dining, detection of masculine rudeness results in a number of different techniques choices; a smack across knuckles, a measured response (non-fatal) of a crack across the top of a man's head. More aggressive training technique choices include a swift stick upswing into gential areas, a stick end jab of toes, perhaps a good smack across a man's shoulders. WOMAN-THING! employs many other effective traning techniques with her stick which are REMEMBERED by a man.

Interactive Training Mode

Looking at our photograph of WOMAN-THING! you note these training tools, WOMAN-THING! includes proprietary software, a very creative set of software which enables an effective interactive training mode. Our amazing WOMAN-THING! interactive mode training software runs in the background, at all times. Periodically WOMAN-THING! engages a man to be trained in interactive dialog and activities, both of which use a real-life model database developed by direct observation of thousands of women over many years. During this interactive mode should a man utter a rude comment or engage in other behaviors which are not indicative of a gentleman, WOMAN-THING! will react with one of a number of choices, which include but are not limited to,

A backhand strike with a steel wrist band to the side of a man's head
A firm steel knee cap strike to a man's groin area (very effective)
A sharp steel toe boot jab to a man's anal area
A stomp with a six inch heel spike upon the top of a man's foot

WOMAN-THING! as you can see includes Special Visual Enhancements which come into play during this interactive training mode. Should an in-training man "stare" at her visual features, any number of the above cited responses will be employed. Yes, a man trained to speak to a woman rather than speak to her breasts!

WOMAN-THING! is also equipped with a Plug & Play module which is periodically used as a "reward" for consistent displayed gentleman behavior. Not used often, this patent pending Plug & Play module prompts a man to dangle his own carrot on a stick leading him to more consistent acceptable gentleman behavior. For all cases, a man being trained is not allowed to use this Plug & Play module more than once a month, a time period proven to be very effective for training a man to become a gentleman.

Body Built By Chyna

It is clear in our photograph, WOMAN-THING! is equipped with a substantial, muscular, yet attractive body. Her body is built by world famous Chyna! WOMAN-THING! is a near replicate of Chyna! This well built body is that of a body builder yet many times stronger being enhanced a by patented infrastructure. WOMAN-THING! is virtually indestructable and her physical stature dissuades a man from considering "fighting back" which proves futile in all cases; WOMAN-THING! slings him around and slams him down, amazingly quick. WOMAN-THING! physical features is one aspect which leads to a "National Security Interest" labeling. We cannot discuss these physical attributes because of government imposed restrictions; gag order.

Special Offer - Affordable Pricing

A man might think our price to be high, but being a gentleman is priceless and a source of pride.

Men! You may lease WOMAN-THING! for $1,500,000 for as long of a period of time it takes to train you to become a gentleman. One month to ten years, doesn't matter, our price remains the same! Remember, men, becoming a gentleman is not only priceless, becoming a gentleman will escalate you to a status of being a REAL MAN which all men seek, at any price. You will be an icon of envy for all "Neandertal" men. Besides, gentlemen get laid far more often.


Knob Hill Labs is currently developing "Loving Lesbian" software for future enhancements to WOMAN-THING!

We will provide WOMAN-THING! to women for absolutely FREE including her current programming as described along with our patent pending beta Loving Lesbian programming, in exchange for your submitting a weekly report, a short questionaire, which provides feedback on our new Loving Lesbian software. This software is amazing, but we here at Knob Hill Labs always strive to improve the quality of our products, especially our products developed for women, our specialty area. Women, you will be delighted, you will be thrilled, you might even discover, thanks to our Loving Lesbian software, you really don't need a man! Give WOMAN-THING! a whirl and a twirl! She is free, to you as a woman!


Knob Hill Labs - Innovative Creativity!